The True Will of Sirius Orion Black (and others)
by Morbidskull
Summary: Every Post-OotP story has it. This is my take on a will written by an insane man. Now to include others.
1. SOB story

I, Sirius Orion Black, being of sound body and (mostly) sound mind, declare this to be my final will.

As of this writing, the Black family fortune was estimated at: 30,423,384 Galleons, 11,596,343 Sickles, 4,845,244 Knuts.

To the Weasley family I give each member 10,000 Galleons.

To Remus Lupin, I give every Sickle in my vault. (everyone knows silver is only harmful if ingested.)

To N- Tonks (I might be dead, but I'm not that brave!) I leave 2,000,000 Galleons. I'd invite you back into the black family, but I would never insult you like that.

To Harry James Potter, My Godson, I leave you with...

...Nothing. The Potter fortune is even larger then the Black's! Don't be greedy!

I leave the remainder of my assets, now valued at 33,672,424 Galleons, 17,562,973 Sickles, 2,441,999 Knuts due to interest, to the first person outside of this room that asks for it.


	2. Bonus! Snape

A bonus, as requested.

The Last Will of S. Snape

As I'm a petty old man with no family and no friends, my final wishes are short and simple:

5 BILLION POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR! 


	3. Riddle me this

I, T.M. Riddle have no use for a Final Will as I can never die. I have written this Living Will for if there is ever a time when I am forced away again.

To my childhood diary, I leave you Lucius Malfoy. Do with him as you wish.  
To Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem, I give you dear Bella. She will look good under you.  
Walden Macnair shall be left in the care of Helga Hufflepuff's Cup. Make him fill you with the blood of the innocent.  
Nagini, my love, I give you Peter Pettigrew. May his Last be your meal.

My other heirlooms can make their own claims from my remaining followers.

**A/N: This didn't work out on paper as nicely as in my head. Somehow Snape is given to the locket as true Slytherins stick together.  
**

**I'm still working on Dumbles. Should he be everyone's favorite grandfather, or the nasty old man?**


	4. What's in a Name?

I, Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Order of Merlin, First Class; Defeater of Grindelwald; Grand Sorcerer; Founder of the Order of the Phoenix; Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards; Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot; Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; and all-around good guy, write this as I feel I will soon be departing for The Next Great Adventure. I bequeath my earthly possessions as stated below:

First, I nominate Cuthbert Binns as next headmaster. He has worked at the school far longer then any of the other professors.

To Harry Potter, I leave my wool socks. One can never have too many socks.  
Hermione Jean Granger, I give you my personal library. Most of these book can no longer be found in the school library. Strange coincidence, that.  
To the Weasley family, I give 100,000,000 Galleons and a marriage contract between Harry and Ginevra. I hope you will take poor harry in until he can find a place of his own.  
I would like Remus to be able to continue to use the Shrieking Shack for his monthly problems. I'm sure the sounds of children will help to calm the wolf within now that Wolfsbane is so hard to find.  
I give my brother the rest of the family's goat herd. Remember not to charm this bunch to talk!

To Draco Malfoy, in hopes of keeping you from straying from the light, I give you the Potter, err I mean Dumbledore Manor.

**A/N: **

**Thanks for reading! I think this will be the end. The talking goats is a shout-out to a favorite fanfic of mine.**


	5. SPEW

I, Dobby, having gone to the huge dirty castle of never-ending cleaning in the sky, leave my possessions as follows:

My chores will be passed on to Winky.

I give my socks to Headmaster Goatbeard. You can never have too many socks!

My hats are a gift to the Great Kind Harry Potter Sir.

And lastly, I leave my "Great Kind Harry Potter Sir's underwear" collection to Camera Creevey.


End file.
